It had been a week since OG proposed a FWB arrangement and I was still bothered by the way he introduced the subject. I spent a fair amount of time mentally debating, as we women do, searching for the strength to dismiss him or a loop hole to jump into and run with it.

I finally came to the decision that I no longer wanted to “think” about it…I want to get closer to OG and despite every one’s great advice and my own desires to find a legitimate boyfriend in 2010…I’m not ready to dismiss him.

I can hear you all shaking your heads at me… that’s fine, it’s totally understandable. I am sure to learn my lesson eventually and not be so selfish, but I’m still young and I want to be carefree and have fun!

So I took a time-out and sent OG a serious email. I told him that I didn’t want make a decision… I just wanted to see where things go with us, that we are both adults and I feel we could have a lot of fun with each other behind closed doors (we already know we are sexually compatible). Most importantly I told him I was upset about the way he made me feel when he told me he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but in his FWB terms he stated that if either one of us got involved with someone else we would respect that and remain friends.

I let him know that I took this personally and while I realize I am not every one’s dream girl it made me feel rejected, not something I deal with well. I’m scarred (thanks Ex!) and while I realize this is just an insecurity I need to work on, I need him to recognize and respect it “as my friend”.

When pressed send I had no idea what kind of response I would get, if any. I was sure this would send him running for his life. Instead I received an equally serious and heartfelt message. He apologized to me and admitted that he too is scarred from his past relationships, and while he is not ready for another right now he is attracted to me, I’m totally his type and he thinks I’m cute, sexy and really enjoys spending time with me. *Swoon*

We agreed to continue our “relationship” (his words!!) as friends and see where things go. I can’t ask for anything more then that and I respect his hesitation in getting involved with me – a chick from the office, who isn’t even officially divorced yet. I am so glad that I came clean to him and that he was able to be honest with me about his own feelings.

Since our discussion he walks a little more closely to me and flirts just a bit harder. It feels nice. It feels like something is really growing between us now, I feel like there is a chance for me and that I can talk to him open and honestly, which for me is a really big deal.

And now for the part where I come clean to you! Are you ready????

Tomorrow night OG is coming over. He offered to help me install and hang my new curtains and in exchange I offered to order out dinner. He’ll bring the wine and already asked permission to crash on my couch in-case we drink too much…Yes, you all know where this is going…and I wont deny it! So slap away!!

To be continued….