I spent the weekend with friends and while I had an amazing, fun filled, action packed visit, I also came back feeling a little down. I can only blame myself, and also realize that in a way I am being completely silly.

A group of us went out drinking at a pretty popular place in town. I had heard that three different guys who I find attractive and know in various aspects were going to be there too and immediately my libido took over my brain and I started to craft plans of seduction. Of course this would have been so much easier had I been able to focus on just one plan of attack, but I got greedy and decided that I needed to try my luck with all three. Well, that was the stupidest idea ever and three two many drinks later I ended up empty handed at the end of the night.

I’m pretty sure one of them will avoid me like the plague from now on after a series of drunk text messages, but then I’ve learned a valuable lesson from this all… I think. I know, and I keep reminding myself, that I need to keep focused on the situation at hand and set myself free from the life I continue to lead, the life that I feel so trapped in, and desperately want to flee from.

I can only take my strike-out to be some sort of sign or blessing.

I’m not looking for love, I’m not looking to start a relationship, but on the other hand I am also Not looking to build a portfolio of casual encounters – I respect myself more then that and I know its just a set up for heartache and mental stress, cause as a woman I can not help to get attached to some degree….and I really don’t want hurt feelings whether they be mine or theirs.