Hot-Rod…eh, not so hot
GoodbyeGal
I’m sure I have mentioned it before, but I am highly critical of the men who dare date me and in Hot-Rod’s case there were really no exceptions.
Over the past few days we’ve exchanged messages and chatted on the phone at night and personality wise we hit it off right away, but as a self proclaimed Ice Queen I am highly skeptical of the men I encounter via online dating sites, as any girl who ventures into this land should be. Hot-Rod also happens to be an Aries, just like Ex so already I had some preconceived notions about what kind of guy he would be and not necessarily all that bad.
When he asked me to meet for coffee I was already aware of a few red flags – Lives at home, unemployed, and the majority of the pics on his Facebook are of him and some girl posing close and less then a month old. I also got the impression he hadn’t had any long term serious relationships and he was anxious to jump right in…he actually mentioned us getting married more then once in casual conversation. Not something I am ready for after barely being free of my 15 year failure.
To be fair I agreed to the meeting before dismissing him all together and I was looking forward to the potential of a readily available guy despite those aforementioned flags. So the plan was set, he was to call me when he got home from work and we would meet at a local spot.
If there is one way to rub me the wrong way it’s to make me wait and wait I did. I was slightly irked when an hour after I was expecting him to call I get a reply to an earlier message I sent him on Facebook. I responded how I was just about to call him assuming his hands must be broken or he would have called on time. The typical excuse… “I got home late and was just about to call you”… just as soon as he’d checked his email, Facebook and who knows what else.
I should mention that Hot-Rod is with out a Cell phone. Something about his phone breaking and getting a replacement, but getting shut off for not sending back the old phone. Strange and very inconvenient for someone like me who sleeps with her cell phone. None the less I agree to meet up after he takes an hour to shower and get dressed.
First impression – he looks better in pics. He was much more goofy looking and meaty then I had expected, not bad looking, but not as attractive as I had hoped. We sit down and he tells me I look just like my pictures and I’m pretty…okay he gets a few points there, but then he starts pointing out his germophobia…what a turn off!! Oh, and totally over explains about the girl in the Facebook photos. Seems like there is definitely something more there.
Then he mentions getting married again as in “Imagine if we could time travel and 30 years from now we could bring our kids back to this point in time to when we first met”. I wonder if he could tell how badly I wanted to get up and run far far away? Now, I consider myself a good date and I think I am not only easy to talk to and comfortable to be around, but I am funny too and even though I was not feeling him we did have a nice time, some good conversation, and a few laughs.
I blew him off when he walked me to my car and was obviously hoping for a kiss, but I gave him a quickie hug and jumped in being sure to make it clear I was tired and would be going straight to bed so he shouldn’t call. I thanked him for a nice time, which over all it was, and burned rubber out of there.
So there you have it. When he calls me tomorrow I’ll give it to him straight and wish him luck. He’ll make some girl really happy, but certainly not me.
Tags: Dating, First Date, Online Dating
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Ok, I will admit if I had a woman in the same boat as HotRod, I don’t think I would have made it to the ‘coffee’ stage. After hearing both the long roundabout excuse on the pics, then the phone that would have been it for me. And I will say I do have a massive pet peeve for someone who can’t be reasonable on their time management.
Like you said though, there were major red flags, and at least you did see them and that’s a great thing there. On one side comment, I can’t understand someone wanting to mention marriage that quick…..wow….that one kinda blows my mind.
Unemployed AND living at home? That’ll learn ya.
He needs to get married because mom is tired of doing his laundry and wants someone else to take over. Seriously, that’s to be avoided.
I’m curious – how do you take him off your Facebook now?!
Well, I’m glad you went, even though he is an Aries. And I’m sure he was well meaning with the whole “marriage” thing – I think some guys do this to point out they are ready and able to commit. But yes – that would have sent me running in the other direction probably even before the end of the date. And making someone wait irks me to now end in a situation like this. Next time, I say – cancel.
XOXO ~ who is next?
My friends say I am picky because I listen to the red flags. I can tell by the first meeting with a guy if it is something worth pursuing, but my friends say I don’t give the guy enough time to prove himself. I know when I know. Why should I waste my time or somebody else’s when I know that person is not right for me?
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Jane – You’re right! I didn’t even mention the part where he told me how he liked how assertive I was and he needs someone who can whip him into shape… to which I replied “I’m not lookin to be your momma…been there done that”.