Dinner and a Movie
Singlegal
Last night, I had my final outing with Nice Guy. For a brief history, I’d gone back and forth with him, wanting to give it a try because there was so much that was like able about him, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on the why I couldn’t get comfortable. Well, our “date” last night did the trick for me.
Nice Guy hadn’t been great at planning “dates”, and it was my turn, so I suggested dinner and a movie. He had to wait for the arrival of a package, so we moved it to dinner and a movie at his place. I was fine with this. Now, I should preface this with the fact that Nice Guy and I had already been intimate, and I suspected we would be again this evening. This was not at issue. But – I’m getting ahead of myself.
The evening started off OK with me arriving, cracking open a bottle of wine, and going to retrieve dinner. It was a nice night, so we chose to walk. Now, Nice Guy could have tried to hold my hand, pull me close – any of that, but he didn’t. That was unfortunate, but not the big issue. During our walk, for whatever reason, Nice Guy informed me he was very attracted to blondes and red heads. Well, I’m about as brunette as one can get. So, um, what was I do to with this comment? Then, we got back to his place, ate, and settled in for the movie. I was looking forward to the movie – I’d had kind of an icky day, and just wanted to chill out, have him hold me close, and test our comfort.
Fail. Fail. Fail.
Three minutes into the movie, Nice Guy started pawing at me. Fine, I thought. Let’s get this out of the way, so we can watch the movie. I ask him to pause the movie; he doesn’t. I’m still not sure why. Then, we go and, um, knit an afghan, and well, let’s just say there were a few awkward issues there. I’m ready to go back and watch the movie, but nope; Mr. Nice Guy isn’t budging until his afghan is complete. Fine. More awkward issues. I’m done – not because I’m impatient, but because we had our moment, and I’d like to go back, and cuddle, and watch the movie. At which point, Mr. Nice Guy informs me he has to get up early in the morning. Hint. Hint. I really should go.
Give me a fucking break.
Now, I’ll accept a few things on this; I could have been more open and honest about my feelings. Like how I really wanted to watch that movie. But the truth is, when it came to my “Am I comfortable watching a movie” test, Nice Guy was a big fail. And I’m sure he didn’t exactly intend to make me feel like a trashy whore, but you know what – he did. It’s not that I think he didn’t have something to do in the morning; I believe him. But truthfully, Nice Guy exhibits the same level of emotional attachment that Ex did, and I’m not game for that anymore.
I gave it a good try. But today, I’m a mixture of peeved and relieved.
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Well at least you gave it a try so now you won’t have any “what ifs”.
Zeus, I must be old. I always want to watch the movie first.
As far as it goes, it sounds like a pre-arranged booty call. I guess that has its time and place, but sounds like a total drag to me.
I don’t know what the awkwardness with the knitting, but that also sounds like a drag.
Probably a good thing to cut “Not Really That Nice Guy” off now.
It was a total drag, all around. I never take it as a good sign when you’re more interested in the movie
He sounds like a jerk. I would say lose that one and move on. Or do it like a man (as Carrie Bradshaw would say) and beat him at his own game.
Thanks. Not sure if he’s a jerk, or just seriously, seriously misguided. Love Carrie Bradshaw!
Ugh. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. It looks like your gut was right about this one from the beginning.
It was. And it usually is! I just seriously need to be better about listening to it.
That comment about the blondes and the redheads is grounds enough for me. That’s a jerk thing to say to a woman and to me, means he’s not such a nice guy after all.
And if he contacts you again, I’d tell him EXACTLY why you two are finished. But then, that’s me.
Oh, as far as I can tell, he doesn’t realize anything is wrong. I’m going to have to let him off the hook, probably today. I always wonder if I should tell them exactly what I’m feeling. In his case, I can see a bunch of uncomfortable apologies, etc. I might need to practice less is more with this one …
Not knowing the previous conversations or how he carried them I have to agree, when he brought up blondes and redheads that was a big flag. Another was the not holding hands. Also, wanting to ‘knit’ before the movie was not only a ‘date’ killer but ‘mood’ killer too.
I have found when I look back at when my gut was telling me something wrong, it was right. I”ll admit I have a hard time following mine at times but that instinct usually doesn’t lie.
I hope you find a good guy there. They are out there trust me. Sometimes though it seems we live in the boonies lol.
I like the boonies!
Thanks for your thoughtful posts, Quinten
He just sounds really selfish and self absorbed to me. Imagine saying how he is attracted to blondes and redheads in front of his date!!
You are right to move on – find yourself a man – not a little boy like he seems to be.
Gotta agree with the majority opinion here–Nice Guy wasn’t very. His previous lack of initiative, which was so puzzling before, now makes more sense in combination with the events of this evening. The blonde/redhead hint, the dearth of cuddling coupled with his zealousness to get right to the “knitting”…It all suggests that he sees this as a casual relationship that’s not going to go much farther than that. I’m glad you were unsure about him, too, and won’t have a broken heart over this one! You deserve much better than a pretend “nice guy.”