Digital Dating: Is this my future?
GoodbyeGal
Well, it’s been about 6 weeks since I’ve created an online dating profile. I currently bounce between two different sites. I’ve found that I get more messages when I leave my browser logged on, then when I am offline.
My first profile, on Plenty of Fish, basically outlines the man I think is best for me and I haven’t done much to modify it since putting it up. My profile is set to talk/chat only and I’m not spending much time and effort on that site. Personally the site is too basic for my tastes. Seems to be a lot of little efforts looking for the big results.
The second site, OKCupid, requires more dedication if you want to have a decent profile. With more personal fields to complete & questions to help improve matches. It feels like the guys are slightly more serious then POF. There is more interaction for the user from browsing other people’s profiles, rating other’s, quizzes, forums and even journals.
I have about 4-5 pics in my profiles, a bunch of head shots, and I admittedly get a lot of interest based on my pics alone. I’m cute, and I pride myself on being so. I’ve recently added a few “clauses” to my OKC profile for readers who actually take the minute to do so before contacting me… many do not.
- I am not here to play games
- I am here to meet guys – and by meet I mean exchanging messages to see what we might have in common.
- I only exert as much effort in a reply as you give when you message me.
- I’m not looking to “hook-up”
- I already know I’m cute
- Do not contact me just ’cause you like my pic.
I also state that it is not appropriate to ask me about my previous relationships as a way to get to know me. I also only date white boys (sorry, but I do)
While I have had plenty of offers to meet up (and then some) I have only actually met one guy, JB and I am looking forward to a second meet-up when our schedules allow.
There have been a total of two invites who I have had enough interest in that I agreed to meet… Jackson actually asked me 1st, but failed on multiple follow through attempts . I’m easing into things and I want to be totally sure I’m not wasting my time. That’s not to say there will always be a second date, I just want to feel like there is a lot of potential before putting in the effort of getting dolled up and venturing out.
What I’ve found curious is that I have been asked to coffee, and drinks as one would expect, but on three different occasions by three different men I have been invited to the beach to Fly a Kite. I kid you not. I live about an hour and half from the beaches in my state and it’s a common thing for people around here to spend time there, but I didn’t grow up here so when a few guys I am chatting up heard this that is the invite I received. Kind of cute and caught me off guard… even made me giggle a lil.
Now the question is, who do I go with if any?
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I agree with your assessments of the two sites. I am getting NO activity from OK Cupid, but fear its a lot more looks based than the other sites, which is probably why (wanna be cute like you!). I haven’t yet exerted too much effort (I actually just hid the profile) but when I’m ready I’ll take your advice and do a few more of those quizzes. I guess I’m finding I don’t have a lot of patience for that, but I will try!
Good rules. Personally, I’m not much for putting too many “dos” and “donts” in a profile as I don’t want to seem too off-putting, but this seems to be working for you so I’ll check in with you and you can tell me how if goes!
Big *hug*. Good luck.
I also have to agree with your assessments there. I used to have a profile on POF and to say there is a lot to be desired there is putting it mildly. I thought I had spelled things out pretty good on it and didn’t get much activity. The few that caught my attention and I actively messaged didn’t get very far. I also used to have a match.com profile with a lot of what you talk about on OK Cupid. It’s a pay site and that one appears to be more serious but again, did not get very far. I have to admit I am not impressed with any sites like those. I did get lucky enough to meet a great person I am currently seeing through myspace of all places. You never know where you will actually find a person lol.
OMG. I have also been to the site. And I am not liking it either. I would much rather read a blog like yours and get into a relationship coach website for assessment before I get my self into the inconvenience of filling up forms and not getting anywhere.