Getting Lost
A confession by GoodbyeGal
I’ve been a little lost. A little lazy with contributing to the blog as well, but to my credit @SingleGal has been laxed in her duties of encouraging me to write. 
One area where she has not been so lenient is in the nagging me to get shit done, which I need. Constantly! My close friend and Co-worker seems to be in cahoots with her, as she has taken on a more aggressive role as well. Thank you both. You know I need it and I love you much, much more for it
I took a few set backs in my 6 month plan of getting single by going on a couple mini vacations with @SingleGal. Long weekends away, shopping, dining, drinking, massages and room service. For her it was more of a celebration as she takes those first steps into her new life. For me it was one more opportunity to avoid my situation.
I’m stupid to continue to drag this out. I’ve started thinking about how he is going to react when I serve him with the papers and give him his notice to move out. He’s going to be a total asshole, but only to hide his pain of the reality that I will NOT be here forever.
Guess I’ll have to find a place to crash till he moves out too. How do these things work? Is there an Idiots Guide to Divorce? There probably is!!
Why can’t he be Divorcing me?
My family is being more and more supprtive and starting to take more initiative in helping me figure this all out. I just hope they don’t feel like I am relying on them too hevily, but I just feel so lost about it all sometimes.
I’ve decided to consult a moderator rather then go through litigation. I fully expect Ex to agree to most everything and don’t think we will have much to dispute. If I had my way we would draw a line down the middle of the house and spilt it all up like that. Silly, but I really don’t have much that I want. I’m ready for all new everything!
I’ll start making calls on Monday. Promise.
Tags: Divorce, Divorce Moderation, Getting Single, women of divorce
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And, as promised, I am holding you to this. You need to move forward with the start of your new life. You’ve been ready for months. You just need to take the actual steps. And think about all the people here who are going to support you, as they do for me.
I love you. Hurry up and join me in this newfound freedom.
“Just Go”
XOXO ~ Singlegal
PS _ and I”m not above replacing you as my heterosexual life partner if you don’t move it along!
yyyyyoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu can ddddooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt!!!!!!!
And as far as an “Idiots Guide to Divorce”, yeah, that’s be me. I did everything in my divorce the weird / unorthodox / slightly more difficult way, so bring on the questions, and you shall benefit from the lessons I learned along the way.
When this is all over and done with – and if we have an actual meeting of Divorce Club and light the bonfire and whatnot – then I will be the first one there (with the biggest bottle of liquor!) to wish you well!!
first… on your comment..”I just hope they don’t feel like I am relying on them too hevily,” … they are your family… thats what they are there for. They SHOULD be there no matter how much you lean on them. (at least thats the way I was raised way back when) ….
second.. just found your twitter/blog .. so.. going to try n catch up.. but it sounds like you know that you want a divorce.. but just haven’t pulled the trigger yet. I was in the same spot ALL last year.. put it off… kept saying I will do it next week, blah blah… you have to just do it. setup the appointment.. .the sooner you get the ball rolling.. the faster (hopefully) it will all be over and you can then start living your new life. my “D” was final on May15th…. and I barely know who I am yet… still learning.. don’t know about you, but I became a different person because of my marriage, and I found that I didn’t like who I was. But then I didn’t want to become the guy I was before…so.. a happy medium is what I am searching for.
any way…. good luck with everything… and .. MAKE THAT CALL
Thanks for the comments!! I can’t imagine how I would deal with all of this 10 years ago before being exposed to blogging and Twitter. I consider myself very lucky to have met so many people who share my feelings and experiences. The advice and support is priceless!
Frank, Welcome to Divorce Club! @SingleGal and I look forward to getting to know you better
I have been in this same exact situation. I found it was harder to break the news to my family (who didn’t particularly care for my ex anyway) than it was to go through with it all. I pretty much left the marriage with nothing except my clothes and a hope chest (empty – says a lot). The thing my ex got pissed most about – my wanting my maiden name back. You will be very surprised what goes on in the male mind. Go for it girl – we have your back! (And a bed to crash in if you need it)
It’s not an easy step, but it IS one worth making. You have friends and virtual friends that will support you!