Day Two

Single Gal here.

So, I am on Day Two of the Start of the Rest of the My Life.Funny, it feels like a rather ordinary day, except that I am incredibly unfocused and eating a banana. You see, I wouldn’t normally eat a banana, but my new-found single-hood finds me also on a new-found diet, hence the entry of the horrid banana. Since the “I Love You, but I’m Not In Love with You” speech from two days ago, I haven’t been able to keep much food down. I’m calling it divorce bulimia, which seems oddly appropriate for your 30s, although I really hope this phase doesn’t last long.

I find the separation is moving at lightening speed. In 36 hours, my husband and I have a move-out plan, a sell-the-house plan, and a reservation for one last, party weekend together. I know this probably isn’t the best idea, but I can’t help but feel that just because someday soon he’s not going to be my husband, he’s still my best friend. I have to say, though – if there is such a good thing as “good divorce timing”, my husband (I’ll need to give him a nickname in a future entry) has exercised it, perhaps unknowingly on his part.

Until then, I find myself wanting to savor the last of our time together. I can only describe it as nearing the end of the book… when you know you only have a few pages left, and you want to make the most of them because really, the book has been pretty damn good for the most part. But at the very end, there’s this blank page. And no one ever really notices it’s there, but it serves it’s purpose. And this time, rather than just ignore it, I’m gonna rip it out, scribble all over it – maybe even color on it. Make it not blank anymore. Make it bright with design and purpose and meaning, even if I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with after that.

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